Material World
mi vida estupida|Thank you my blogosphere peeps for letting me be so self-indulgent last week. I think that the mini break-down was probably a long time coming due to certain thoughts nagging at me, not sleeping enough was providing fuel for the fire, and a few issues with the padres were enough to set it off. I’m still not sleeping enough though I don’t know if that will ever change. But I’m feeling better now, and the weather has somewhat brightened and certainly warmed up a bit, which is a huge relief.
This week I had another spurt of home-making energy and I bought a TV, TV stand, DVD player, and microwave. It was weird buying these things by myself for myself because the only time I’d ever done these “grown-up” things was in 1999 when D and I were making a home together. But since I pretty much left everything with him when we parted, I am still slowly acquiring the commodities that make modern life livable. To make it less overwhelming I’d started with the basic things like pots and pans and a bedsheet and a shower curtain, but I am finally at the stage where I can indulge myself.
I don’t like having a lot of possessions because it feels like a burden. There’s still a part of me that wants to be able to clear out and fall off the grid with minimal effort. Not that I’m planning a geat escape anytime soon, but I feel weighed down by stuff. D had always liked stuff, especially electronics and gadgets (and the Belgian waffle maker that he went on and on about until I got it for his birthday which he used all of three times before deciding that Belgian waffles tasted better at the diner and the very large contraption ended up collecting dust and taking up space) which made me claustrophobic. So I weighed the decision to get a TV very carefully, finally deciding that I missed watching movies on a large screen.
My other worry is that I tend to be a TV addict. When I was a kid, I couldn’t get enough of the stuff. The padres monitored what and how much I watched so I had to get sneaky. Being a latch-key kid made it easier and I vaguely recall going through a soap opera phase in 5th grade - more proof that TV is evil. (It wasn’t until many years later that madre told me that she knew I was watching on the sly because the TV would be warm when she came home from work.) It got a bit worse when the padres got cable TV when I was about 17 or so. All those years withD we never had cable, except for one month when he ordered it because of an upcoming UFC fight. For the first two weeks we vegged on the futon watching Rock Of Love marathons and other brain rotters. Finally there was no other option but to go cold turkey and we cancelled the damn thing.
So I think I will forgo cable for now. The public library has a never-ending supply of DVDs and The Office and The Biggest Loser are on NBC. Score!
January 19th, 2010 at 11:38 am
I was worried about the same thing, but I feel like I never even have time to watch the stuff I record, let alone whatever is on TV at the time.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:50 am
Isn’t that what blogs are for, to engage in the occasional self-indulgence?
I go back and forth between wanting to have stuff and not wanting to have stuff. Maybe it’s because, while I do like the things I own, I don’t find “stuff” to make me very happy, and the idea of constant shopping does little for me.
As for being a burden to taking off, well, that’s what storage facilities are for.
January 20th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
npw - i have a bad habit of turning it on as background noise and then, slowly, getting sucked in.
gh - my only experience with a storage facility was a bit creepy, with the owner picking a compartment right next to his desk, so he was always there when i came in. he told me i had the voice of a bird (which i don’t), that i have a pink aura (i’m not into pink), and that when he sees me it’s like a straving man finally getting bread. nutter.